Every individual faces many challenges throughout their life. It is common for people to experience stressful situations where they need to wind down and relax. Most people require alone time to think, process their thoughts and have time away from everyone.
Our day-to-day lives often leave us tired and drained and we just want time to be on our own. Imagine having a very busy day at work helping out rude customers and your boss happened to be a little bit stressed out, taking their stress out on you.
One might want to return home to enjoy a pleasant dinner and watch YouTube videos without any interruptions from others.
Jelena Lumba, 23 years old, has been sharing the same bedroom with her sister, Jessie Lumba, 24-years-old since they lived in Doha, Kuwait.
At the age of 10 and 11, they relocated to San Diego, California, and have since shared the same room.
“It feels suffocating having to share a room because I have no privacy. For instance, I would talk to my boyfriend over the phone sometimes and my sister would yell at me to stop talking or else she’d kick me out of the room for that.” Jelena Lumba said. “We would also have disagreements that would lead to fights when it comes to putting things in certain areas of the room right away. I would always get yelled at for that when sometimes I just want to put things away on my own time, but with an older sister I always don’t have the freedom to do what I want in our room.”
The negative side effect of not having your personal space is that your mood can impact the individuals around you. As for this case, these two sisters experience a lot of arguments and fights because they have been together for almost as long as they have lived.
The living space reflects a person’s identity. To share one small bedroom for most of your life may make it difficult for an individual to navigate who they are.
People have different personalities and that is the case for these two sisters. How they express themselves in their bedroom is very limited. They are very different from each other, from their favorite color to the color of their bedsheets and their sleeping schedule is very different.
Activities like reading, watching a movie, or doing homework can be challenging when there are people very different from each other.
Without personal space, individuals may experience irritability and conflict in their relationships.
Very similar to what her sister said, Jessie Lumba agrees, saying, “It feels suffocating to have no freedom and privacy.”
Of course, growing up in school, students were always taught about how crucial it was to work together as part of a team. It was heavily emphasized how much stronger and efficient it is to work as a pair. While teamwork is important, personal space can allow independence in a person that can lead to personal growth. It can prevent codependency.
Codependency is where an individual can become overly dependent on another person. When people have the time and space to participate in their own interests and activities, they are less likely to become overly dependent on others for emotional support.
Brandon Lee, a UCSD graduate, has shared a small room with his roommate for the past four years. Growing up, he never had to share a room, as his family home was fairly spacious. However, upon attending, he had no choice but to dorm. When he moved to off-campus housing, he acquired three additional roommates. Despite the larger living spaces compared to the dorms, he continued to share a bedroom.
“It definitely took a bit of time adjusting to it. I had to start being more mindful of what I do, for example when I’m watching something on my computer then making sure the volume is low or putting on my headphones if the other people are trying to sleep,” Lee said. “Communication is required to see what my roommate and I need from each other; putting down the toilet after flushing or making sure to clean up the sink after cutting my beard or whatever. Only benefit I can think of is having late night talks. Having my own room is so much better.”
Jelena and Jessie Lumba do end up arguing or fighting frequently because they spend too much time together and do not have enough room to be alone and relax. As for Brandon Lee, he often has to think about his roommate and be considerate. Unlike when he is at home, he is able to do whatever he wants. Teamwork, working together or even living together creates strong bonds, but having your own personal space is important when you just want to wind down.
